


Christmas

by Doctor_Who_Cares



Series: Oh, Voldemort! [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, general silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 21:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13749897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Who_Cares/pseuds/Doctor_Who_Cares
Summary: It's Christmastime & Voldemort is looking forward to presents.





	Christmas

"Soooo, Severus... what have you brought the Dark Lord for Christmas?" Lucius asked, dropping in on Severus.

"I'm not telling you."

"What why not?"

"Because you'll steal it."

"But I don't know what to get him."

"Well figure it out on your own."

"You know what he'll do if he doesn't like it."

"Yes." Severus smirked.

"You don't have to be so _happy_ about it; and he's so hard to shop for! All he cares about is world domination and Harry Potter, and I don't think I can get him either in six days."

"Oh dear! Well isn't that a shame. Guess you'll just have to think of something else."

*** * ***

The Deatheaters all walked in to find the long table they always sat at covered in presents, and their Master humming ' _D_ _ec_ _T_ _he_ _H_ _alls_ ', standing on his toes to put the star on the tree.

"Sit down, sit down, then we can get to the presents." He clapped his hands. "And they _better_ be good." He growled, narrowing his eyes at them all. Several of them gulped and shifted in their seats.

"Where shall we start?" He ran his hands over the presents lifting one. "Goyle." He stated opening it. " _Sock_ _s_?!" He asked outraged. "I'm sorry, but have I suddenly started wearing violet robes and preaching about the ‘Greater Good’ and that we should hold hands with trolls?"

' _That's one way to describe Dumbledore._ ' Severus thought.

"Why the hell would I want socks? _Sock_ _s_?! _Crucio!_ " Goyle screamed and convulsed, dropping his head onto the table.

"Next then. Macnair. Chocolates... tck, but I'm on a diet. Oh, they are my favourites though. Maybe just one. _Crucio_." He popped one into his mouth. They all looked at him confused, thinking he liked the present. "We all know I can't stop at one! My diet's gone to hell." He sighed. "Next then. Ah Severus... you got me a broken whisk?" He raised his wand.

"No, my Lord! It is a head massager. I know you've been under a lot of stress as of late."

He was looking curiously at the object but had lowered his wand. He lifted it to his head. "That does feel rather nice." He said still moving it up and down. "Yes, _very_ nice. Excellent present Severus. Err... here have these." He tossed the socks over to him.

"Thank you, my Lord." Severus cringed, knowing he'd have to wear them to the next meeting.


End file.
